Reset November 11, 2008

My goals are locked away in a private post, but I think I should put some out here just for accountability’s sake.

So, here they are:

1. 134 by Nov. 20. God, that looks so skinny to me now! But it’s not. It’s a good, realistic goal.

2. Exercise four days a week. I’m not going to fool myself into thinking I’ll give it more now that I’m back at work & the weather is cold. Three days of walking and one day of floor exercises. I can do that.

3. Pay more attention to the old appearance. During work season, I fall into the habit of not giving a hoot how I look at work. I’m going to try to give it more thought (more than just, “hey, this is clean, I’ll wear it). And that includes making periodic visits to the tanning bed. I know that’s awful skin-wise, but I’m one of those people who get depressed without a little sun worship. And I’ve got to keep my nails in better shape. Geez, that sounds so superficial–but I’ve been known to let dirt and cuticles run amok and doing what I do, my hands are seen up close and personal a LOT! And the hair. Gotta keep it trimmed. I hate doing that, but it looks so much better. And, while I’m at it, teeth whitening wouldn’t hurt. Sure, the coffee & cigs make that damn near impossible, but I can still try.

The “Official” Last Day of Vacay–But the Project Ain’t Over! August 3, 2008

Today is the day that was furthest from my mind on May 23. This is the very last day of my summer vacay. So I thought it appropriate to take a look at my goals for the summer that I posted in May:
1. To lose 20 pounds. That puts me at 130. Not skull-tastic, but not too heavy for me. I want to be strong and lean, not a toothpick.
2. To quit smoking. I’ve been an off & on quitter for a few years. It’s not something that I really enjoy anymore. My life will be much-enhanced by quitting.
3. To workout four times a week. Not everyday, not six days–just four days. I’m not training for a marathon here–I just want to get fit and healthy.
4. To find my center. As a Buddhist, I find life to be more fulfilling when I’m still and centered. The breathing, the meditation–it’s all part of that.

Goal 1—Well, to be honest–I have lost about 5 pounds–not the 20 I was aiming for. But I lost it gently! Not much deprivation. I’m going to keep trying for the other 15. I feel better than I did before & I think I look better, so I’ll still try to keep this up! With school starting back, I’ll have to find a “new” routine & get into a new groove. I can do it!
Goal 2—That one didn’t take. I didn’t try as hard as I should have. However, I feel ready to cut back a lot more since I’ll be at work all day. I know that one day soon, I can call myself an ex-smoker!
Goal 3—I really stuck with this one for the most part and I’m proud of myself!! The last two weeks have been topsy-turvy, so I’ve only got in 3 times a week for some. But I feel like this one’s a real habit now and I really enjoy getting off my arse & moving so much more than I did before! YAY! Now, to keep on with it . . .
Goal 4—Found myself “washing the cup” more often this summer. I’d say it’s an improvement. Two things I want to be mindful of are right speech and right mind as work starts back. Watching that tongue of mine is a priority–don’t be so quick to react to everything verbally. The reaction thing is important. For about 5 or 6 years, I was a doormat at work–meaning I bent over backwards to help when I didn’t have the time, put in crazy high hours at the expense of my health and my family and found myself used up and taken advantage of—and was frustrated because, honestly, nobody really cared (at work). But I saw that it was MY choice to do all that and I learned to say no. And then I started standing up for myself. I turned down projects. I refused to spend my weekends at work. And then I became a bit of a fighter and started saying no to everything!! I went too far in the other direction. So I need to breathe and think about what I say before I say it. I don’t intend to become a doormat again, but I will consider my responses more thoughtfully from now on.
And finding compassion for others–REAL compassion–is another priority. Compassion for co–workers who criticize what I do, how I do it, how I look, etc. Compassion for students who drive me nuts, lie, behave horribly, etc. Compassion for those who are clueless, irritating, rude, miserable. Because I’m all of those people at some point, too. It’s funny–the person I’m closest to at work is someone I had sworn off as an arch-enemy several years ago. Keep an open mind. Watch for the “monkey mind.” Everybody hurts sometime!!

The Weight May 22, 2008

Ladies & gentlemen . . . in this corner, weighing in at 150 pounds, standing 5 feet, 5 inches is . . . ME!

So–the quick & dirty is this–I like to be light. Light in attitude, light in weight, etc. “Heavy” is only good for conversations about metaphysics and politics–in my opinion.

I haven’t been or felt light in about two years. Lots of work stress (my choice), social stress (my choice) and physical stress (bad habits–all my choice). So, I figured it’s time to make some better choices in my life. This summer of 2008, my goal is to do just that.

What are my goals exactly?

1. To lose 20 pounds. That puts me at 130. Not skull-tastic, but not too heavy for me. I want to be strong and lean, not a toothpick.

2. To quit smoking. I’ve been an off & on quitter for a few years. It’s not something that I really enjoy anymore. My life will be much-enhanced by quitting.

3. To workout four times a week. Not everyday, not six days–just four days. I’m not training for a marathon here–I just want to get fit and healthy.

4. To find my center.  As a Buddhist, I find life to be more fulfilling when I’m still and centered. The breathing, the meditation–it’s all part of that.

Four things. Four things to make my life better. I don’t think that’s too much to ask of myself.

It all starts tomorrow (I have a thing about morning starts). I’m excited, nervous, confident, sad (yes, it’s hard to let go of letting yourself go), but, most of all, I’m ready. I’M READY!!!!